Unwanted Pressure
by Luckie D
Summary: John begins to feel the pressure of a few past cases and beings to doubt if Maria would stay. Maria sets him straight. Honestly, I think the story is better then the summary. Please R and R. Only one chapter.


**7/28/08-So can not help but doing something like this. Nothing graphic at all, just a story that I had in mind for a while. Maria is my own creation. Everything else, belongs to the big rich guy...-shift eyes-**

Unwanted Pressure

Staring at the shot of Gin, John couldn't find the nerves to focus on the sounds of Maria entering. Seeing him sitting there, and not missing in action with he left the squad room with no notice, Maria could not help releasing a relieved sigh. _There you are, _she thought as she neared him. She couldn't tell that something was wrong until he did not acknowledge her. He didn't even look at her. "John?"

Finding the strength, John slowly turned his head, showing his bloodshot eyes to her. Maria let out a slight gasp, seeing how red they were and that his tinted glasses were not covering his stress and frustration.

Walking closer to him, Maria bent down and tried to look in his face, which he moved from her sight. To get his attention again, she placed her hand on his knee. "John, can you speak to me?"

Glancing at her for a brief moment, he didn't say anything until he looked back at the shot of Gin. He gave a barely audible "yeah."

Right then, she knew that he had hit his limit. The cases from the past few years had come back to him and he solved it with drowning them. With alcohol. _Oh, God. The cult kids. Amy Solway. Uncle Andrew. The RAW people. It's all coming back at once._ She could feel the tears coming as she stood up and pulled him to her chest. Holding him tightly, she prayed hard that he would let it all out.

"Please, I'm here for you. Please, John." She whispered a she stroked the top of his head right before he sobbed against her. He rarely showed his emotions, but around her, he let it all out. John wrapped his long arms around her and cried harder against her as her grasp became tighter. "I'm here, baby. I'm here."

Kissing the top of his head, her eyes moved to the shot glass and the half empty bottle of Gin that he kept in a secret place that she would not find. She knew why. Feeling her sadness rising, she carefully sat down on the floor. John nuzzled closer to her for more comfort and to get into a more comfortable position on the floor.

All they did do was hold each other, John sobbing against her and Maria gently talking and comforting him.

"I...I can't talk it anymore." He gasped against her as he tried to wipe the tears away. "I just can't. No more."

Pulling a tissue from her pocket, Maria carefully wiped his cheeks, eyes, forehead, nose and neck while calmly speaking to him. "I know, sweetie. Not everyone can take this job. But you do it very well. I'm proud of you. The way you continued to keep working on the case with those R.A.W people. How you kept Amy Solway to keep fighting to live. Even when she refused the kidney for the little boy. Uncle Andrew is now in a place where he can get help, even though he refused the medication. You still kept going. You're an amazing person and that's why I love you."

"Then...why am I feeling all...all of this pressure?" He looked up at her, letting her see his depressed expression. He needed her reassurance.

"Because you are. I feel it all the time. We all feel this unwanted pressure. It comes with the job. To end the suffering of others, even if it does cause us some grief." She kissed the center of his forehead as she sniffled a little, trying to fight the tears that threatened to fall. "You still think I can do this after the court room shooting? I couldn't do anything. I got shot right after it started. Why should you-"

She cut him off. "Don't say that." She looked him hard in the face, seeing the begging plea he had etched in his tired face. "Of course I still _believe_ you can do this. I'm still going to be with you until the day the world ends. I do truly care about you. You still care about me even after what happen to me. Any other man would have felt overwhelmed and would have left me to my own devices. But you didn't, John."

He kept his bloodshot eyes on hers as he reached a hand behind her neck to bring her face closer to his. Maria could smell the alcohol on his breath, but she couldn't care at the moment his mouth hit hers. It was not a serious kiss, just a comforting one that they both needed to feel from each other. The smell of the alcohol mixed with the salt from his tears didn't cause her to pull away until he did, needing air.

John rested his cheek on her chest, feeling everything subsiding knowing that she was there for him. Letting out a tension releasing sigh, Maria rested her chin on top of his head and placed her hand on the back of his head. She could feel him relaxing against her.

No words needed to be said. They both knew how they felt about each other and they needed the comfort of holding each other. Maria was determined to hold him to her for as long as he wanted her to. Closing her eyes, she could sit there all night long.

-End!

**7/28/08-I'm talking a hold of the free moments I have to get the stories down. I have a huge notebook filled with everything that I write down. I must get them in here. People must enjoy what my mind creates! Alright, no more coffee for me.  
-Luckie**


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